Interesting story. I’d never heard of that game, happily. Growing up in northern Ontario in the 1970s, that word was almost nonexistent. The only instance of it I can recall was in eeny meeny miny mo -- the random selection rhyme -- which used it in the original but was replaced with “tiger.” I seem to recall that we understood it was a bad word but not why.
You could do schmuck as another P.S. -- Schmuck, or shmuck, is a pejorative term meaning one who is stupid or foolish, or an obnoxious, contemptible or detestable person. The word came into the English language from Yiddish (Yiddish: שמאָק, shmok), where it has similar pejorative meanings, but where its literal meaning is a vulgar term for a penis.
Living in a Winnipeg suburb in the 1960s I can remember all the neighbourhood kids would run around on our front lawns, in the Spring and Summer, playing all kinds of games. They included Red Rover, Red-light- Green-light and a myriad of others. One of these games was called (‘N’-word) Babies and was played for a number of years by our older siblings and adopted by kids my age later on. This would have been in the early to mid 60s and we would have been around 6,7 or 8 at the time. The game in question involved one kid bouncing a ball as high as they could and yelling the noxious name of the game and then catching the ball before it hits the ground. In the meantime, all the other kids would scatter until the ball stopped bouncing. Then the person who was “it” who had the ball, would throw it at anyone he chose while yelling the game name again and trying to hit them. If you were hit three times during the game you were called a (‘N’ word) baby and you then had to crawl through a ‘gauntlet’ and get “paddy-whacked”. - while I was writing this just now I cringe at what we did for “fun” in that time, but I digress -
As you can imagine, all these children yelling *that* word would be a bit disconcerting to aware adults, if they heard it.
One day around 1966, I think, one of the neighbourhood moms rushed out or her house, quite angry, and told us to “stop yelling that word”. All of us were stunned, not understanding what the problem was. There was no explanation given by the mom but from that moment on our game was called “puppy dog tails” which we, from then on, yelled at the appropriate moments during the game. Eventually, I questioned my own parents why the word was so bad. They gave me a carefully worded explanation that there were some men, women and children, in the United States (because these things did not happen in Canada, I was assured) who are persecuted solely for the colour of their skin. The other people (in the US- of course) would call them names to hurt them and this was one of those names. It was very bad to say that word, I was told, and it was explained to me that we should never do that again. That was enough for me and I was always conscious of that word from then on. Years later, I always wondered how that game with its odious name was introduced into our community in the first place. I wanted to look it up online to see if it actually existed anywhere else but really did not want to use the actual word to search so I entered “n-word” instead and discovered it originated in US - of course😏- and went back to at least 1942 and prior. A version of this game was played at various state fairs in that time in the US - and *incidentally* in various suburban communities in Canada- to amuse anyone who wanted to play.
Great piece. I ate it up. This approach to taking the sting out of words by repetition is one of the techniques in Acceptance and Commitment Training/Therapy. It can be quite powerful. Say you’ve made a really big unfixable mistake that bothers you for weeks or months (or years) and you realize you’ve been maintaining the resulting despair with the phrase “what a fucking idiot I am”. One approach to definitively try is to consciously repeat that phrase to yourself numerous times. Not just five times. More like 50. Eventually you may find yourself saying it singsong or in a different voice or variation and find that it’s lost its power over you.
Yes, it flows from the basic psychology that powers cognitive behavioural therapy: Repeated exposure to something under conditions in which the stimulus can do no harm gradually conditions the brain to see the stimulus as harmless.
As an open bi male, I'm a big fan of "queer." I'd like to bring back the Victorian portmanteau term, "sodomite." We're gonna run out of letters in the alphabet otherwise
On further reflection, I wonder what the implications are for using language to help shift views on gender and LGBT issues. The title Ms, for example, was a deliberate construct to help separate women from their marital status. While it has attained widespread use in North America, there are still instances where there is pushback on its use. Wimbledon only changed its listing of women’s champions in 2022 to remove references such as Mrs. J.M. Lloyd and Miss C.M. Evert when the men have always just been shown by their initials and surname. It was such common practice when I was growing up that it was hard for me to see why women would object but once highlighted it became obvious. The same could be said to apply today to those asking for all of us to use their chosen pronouns. As a pedant, the knee jerk reaction is to see this as too awkward and unnecessary. At the same time, how hard should it be to be part of a longer-term language project to alter how LGBT community members are addressed. I would certainly think carefully today about immediately calling any new Richard I met Dick without getting a signal it was their preference.
On group slurs, there’s an interesting parallel history for “faggot” as opposed to “queer” -- there was (and still is but to a lesser extent) an effort to reclaim “faggot.” there’s a fascinating book called “The Faggots and Their Friends Between Revolutions” first published in 1977 that defines “faggots”, more or less gay men living consistently with the politics and values espoused in the book, compared to “queer men,” meaning more or less closeted gay men viewed negatively. There’s also a classic 1978 novel by Larry Kramer simply called “Faggots.”
But of course “queer” is now a frequently preferred label for many and “faggot” is considered an almost unutterable slur.
While the f-word has lost a lot of potency, it seems like the n-word has increased, either due to more awareness or more incidences of racism. For example, you cannot stream The French Conncetion right now without the n-word being awkwardly cut from the film. https://www.nme.com/news/film/the-french-connection-censored-fans-furious-3452641
Interesting story. I’d never heard of that game, happily. Growing up in northern Ontario in the 1970s, that word was almost nonexistent. The only instance of it I can recall was in eeny meeny miny mo -- the random selection rhyme -- which used it in the original but was replaced with “tiger.” I seem to recall that we understood it was a bad word but not why.
You could do schmuck as another P.S. -- Schmuck, or shmuck, is a pejorative term meaning one who is stupid or foolish, or an obnoxious, contemptible or detestable person. The word came into the English language from Yiddish (Yiddish: שמאָק, shmok), where it has similar pejorative meanings, but where its literal meaning is a vulgar term for a penis.
Indeed. I believe there are a few more as well.
petzel?
Living in a Winnipeg suburb in the 1960s I can remember all the neighbourhood kids would run around on our front lawns, in the Spring and Summer, playing all kinds of games. They included Red Rover, Red-light- Green-light and a myriad of others. One of these games was called (‘N’-word) Babies and was played for a number of years by our older siblings and adopted by kids my age later on. This would have been in the early to mid 60s and we would have been around 6,7 or 8 at the time. The game in question involved one kid bouncing a ball as high as they could and yelling the noxious name of the game and then catching the ball before it hits the ground. In the meantime, all the other kids would scatter until the ball stopped bouncing. Then the person who was “it” who had the ball, would throw it at anyone he chose while yelling the game name again and trying to hit them. If you were hit three times during the game you were called a (‘N’ word) baby and you then had to crawl through a ‘gauntlet’ and get “paddy-whacked”. - while I was writing this just now I cringe at what we did for “fun” in that time, but I digress -
As you can imagine, all these children yelling *that* word would be a bit disconcerting to aware adults, if they heard it.
One day around 1966, I think, one of the neighbourhood moms rushed out or her house, quite angry, and told us to “stop yelling that word”. All of us were stunned, not understanding what the problem was. There was no explanation given by the mom but from that moment on our game was called “puppy dog tails” which we, from then on, yelled at the appropriate moments during the game. Eventually, I questioned my own parents why the word was so bad. They gave me a carefully worded explanation that there were some men, women and children, in the United States (because these things did not happen in Canada, I was assured) who are persecuted solely for the colour of their skin. The other people (in the US- of course) would call them names to hurt them and this was one of those names. It was very bad to say that word, I was told, and it was explained to me that we should never do that again. That was enough for me and I was always conscious of that word from then on. Years later, I always wondered how that game with its odious name was introduced into our community in the first place. I wanted to look it up online to see if it actually existed anywhere else but really did not want to use the actual word to search so I entered “n-word” instead and discovered it originated in US - of course😏- and went back to at least 1942 and prior. A version of this game was played at various state fairs in that time in the US - and *incidentally* in various suburban communities in Canada- to amuse anyone who wanted to play.
Can you imagine!
Great piece. I ate it up. This approach to taking the sting out of words by repetition is one of the techniques in Acceptance and Commitment Training/Therapy. It can be quite powerful. Say you’ve made a really big unfixable mistake that bothers you for weeks or months (or years) and you realize you’ve been maintaining the resulting despair with the phrase “what a fucking idiot I am”. One approach to definitively try is to consciously repeat that phrase to yourself numerous times. Not just five times. More like 50. Eventually you may find yourself saying it singsong or in a different voice or variation and find that it’s lost its power over you.
Yes, it flows from the basic psychology that powers cognitive behavioural therapy: Repeated exposure to something under conditions in which the stimulus can do no harm gradually conditions the brain to see the stimulus as harmless.
As an open bi male, I'm a big fan of "queer." I'd like to bring back the Victorian portmanteau term, "sodomite." We're gonna run out of letters in the alphabet otherwise
On further reflection, I wonder what the implications are for using language to help shift views on gender and LGBT issues. The title Ms, for example, was a deliberate construct to help separate women from their marital status. While it has attained widespread use in North America, there are still instances where there is pushback on its use. Wimbledon only changed its listing of women’s champions in 2022 to remove references such as Mrs. J.M. Lloyd and Miss C.M. Evert when the men have always just been shown by their initials and surname. It was such common practice when I was growing up that it was hard for me to see why women would object but once highlighted it became obvious. The same could be said to apply today to those asking for all of us to use their chosen pronouns. As a pedant, the knee jerk reaction is to see this as too awkward and unnecessary. At the same time, how hard should it be to be part of a longer-term language project to alter how LGBT community members are addressed. I would certainly think carefully today about immediately calling any new Richard I met Dick without getting a signal it was their preference.
I love Bono’s introduction to their cover of Helter Skelter. Stealing it back.
https://www.songfacts.com/facts/u2/helter-skelter
On group slurs, there’s an interesting parallel history for “faggot” as opposed to “queer” -- there was (and still is but to a lesser extent) an effort to reclaim “faggot.” there’s a fascinating book called “The Faggots and Their Friends Between Revolutions” first published in 1977 that defines “faggots”, more or less gay men living consistently with the politics and values espoused in the book, compared to “queer men,” meaning more or less closeted gay men viewed negatively. There’s also a classic 1978 novel by Larry Kramer simply called “Faggots.”
But of course “queer” is now a frequently preferred label for many and “faggot” is considered an almost unutterable slur.
While the f-word has lost a lot of potency, it seems like the n-word has increased, either due to more awareness or more incidences of racism. For example, you cannot stream The French Conncetion right now without the n-word being awkwardly cut from the film. https://www.nme.com/news/film/the-french-connection-censored-fans-furious-3452641